"I Don't Mind A Parasite. I Object To A Cut-Rate One."
No, it’s not a blog about a rock group formed in the late 1960s; it’s my latest trio of jokes du jour. Enjoy!
*There he goes again. The “Galloping Gusher” remains on the loose in and around the University of Florida campus. This time he’s waging his own individual War On Women, as he was recently reported “spraying” three different ladies. This brings his victim count to seven. When confronted after the victim discovers that they've been "marked," the perp’s M.O is always the same: he exposes himself and then runs off. Sounds like this story has the makings of a new reality TV show (perhaps when people get tired of Duck Dynasty). At the very least, what we have her is a (more) perverted version of Ernest T. Bass.
*Continuing along in an SEC theme, The Smoking Gun reported today:
“A Tennessee man who tried to crawl into an occupied stall in a McDonald’s women’s bathroom was thwarted when he got stuck under a partition, according to cops who yesterday arrested him for the creepy intrusion.
Police report that Jasmin Johnson was using the toilet inside the Memphis restaurant last Thursday afternoon when Ronald Henderson, 28, entered the bathroom and “crawled under… the stall.”
Upon spotting Henderson, Johnson screamed at him to leave the restroom. But Henderson continued trying to breach the stall, grabbing at Johnson’s leg “until he got stuck,” according to a criminal complaint.”
Johnson was able to escape the McDonald’s restroom, but was later apprehended and is now cooling off at the Shelby County jail in lieu of $100 bond. His arraignment was scheduled for this morning.
*Finally, this one doesn’t really fit the theme, but I’ll add it here “just for fun.” It was reported by The Daily Caller earlier today that the White House pastry chef has resigned because he no longer wants to “demonize cream, butter, sugar and eggs.” According to the story:
“The openly gay chef (Bill Yosses) was hired by Laura Bush in 2007 to make his trademark cookie plates and sugar sculptures. Mrs. Obama took over in 2009 and ordered Yosses to make healthier plates in smaller portions.
Yosses began replacing butter with fruit puree and sugar with honey and agave. But Yosses was never fully committed to the new policy.
“I don’t want to demonize cream, butter, sugar and eggs,” Yosses said, noting that his departure from the White House is a “bittersweet decision.”
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