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A modest proposal on gun control

by pwatkins

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Humor/Jokes

Last comment by JimmyMack 4 months ago.

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It is so sad to many of us to see the deplorable state of awful accusations and suspicion rained down on law-abiding gun owners because of children who seem to be unable to keep themselves safe while attending school, and at other public and private functions.

As such, the National Rifle Association's approach to safety should be adopted, even expanded. Not only should armed guards be stationed in our schools, businesses and other establishments, but everyone, especially defenseless children, should be required to carry weapons, preferably rifles and such too large to conceal. The weapons should be so large they can fire pounds and pounds of lead indiscriminately in every direction for however long the children feel necessary.

Think of the benefits. No longer would these waifs be just too easy targets of gun owners who either can't keep criminal elements from stealing their guns or who have lost reasoning and been drawn away from more elusive prey and targets. No longer would parents have to worry about outsiders walking into our schools and opening fire with no fear of quick retaliation.

It would probably solve the bullying in school problem. I bet teachers would give better grades, too. And there is a good chance it would also cut way down on drop-out rates since fewer students would actually mature to graduation age. And those who do survive would already be trained for many, many security jobs that require a shoot-first-and-ask-questions-later mentality after they graduate.

I'm told by some very trustworthy gun owners that children could be taught to shoot with little trouble. They may need help carrying their arsenals, but that would also help with the obesity epidemic.

Yes, I think it could be a win-win for everyone.

Note: Apologies to Jonathan Swift for appropriating his title to a solution to the Irish Potato Famine in 1729.

Latest Activity: Jan 16, 2013 at 2:59 PM

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up2sumptin commented on Wednesday, Jan 16, 2013 at 15:14 PM

Well said Pat.

sebekm commented on Wednesday, Jan 16, 2013 at 15:26 PM

Excellent points - especially on bullying. It's a good thing we can't be lethally armed in cyberspace. There would be murder and mayhem on this here blog site fer sure.

HMJC commented on Wednesday, Jan 16, 2013 at 16:04 PM

Pat,

To be very candid, your sarcasm is lost on me. Although I am a member of the NRA,I do concur that a whole lot of their "Good Ideas" are far from that. However, there is a little sense of reason if you intepret it as such. For our schools it is all about access control. Does an armed detail need to be part of th equasion? If we be honest with ourselves; some locations warrant it. We are at a precarious point in our history right now. I think most do concur that some type of action is warranted. However, the classic knee jerk one size fits all reaction is counter productive. The 23 Executive Actions was a poor attempt to try and show the administration is taking action. Granted, something had to be initiated. But we are getting ready to go down the path of participating in a "witch hunt" evoked from current tragdic circumstances. Ultimitely, we as a people have to be part of the equasion that is objective and well thought out. You can take away all the guns but one thing still rings true. Criminals will still possess firearms or...find some other way to commit crimes.

JimmyMack commented on Wednesday, Jan 16, 2013 at 17:45 PM

I don't think Pat is endorsing 'taking away all the guns." HMJC. His point(s) are far from lost on me a gun owning Democrat.

HMJC commented on Thursday, Jan 17, 2013 at 08:07 AM

No Worries Jimmy, even though we don't always 100% agree on some issues, I have found that common ground does exist with a lot of the topics we discuss.

Graeme245 commented on Thursday, Jan 17, 2013 at 09:12 AM

The other problem this would solve would be the mandatory taxpayer purchasing of "birth-control" devices of any sort...<snark-off>

Fannie73 commented on Friday, Jan 18, 2013 at 10:44 AM

I have such a terrible time finding a parking spot for my tank when I go to work. Someone really should do SOMETHING about the lack of parking in the Historic District so that my Constitutional rights won't be further impinged upon.

sebekm commented on Friday, Jan 18, 2013 at 12:19 PM

If it were me, I'd get a smaller tank....

JimmyMack commented on Friday, Jan 18, 2013 at 12:32 PM

Tell me where you live Fannie. I will send a drone over to check out the size of your tank. I am sure we can solve this.

JimmyMack commented on Friday, Jan 18, 2013 at 12:34 PM

All in fun, Fannie. Drone won't be armed.

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