I recently picked a new primary care physician. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing "fairly well" for my age.
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, "Do you think I'll live to be 80?"
He asked, "Well, do you smoke tobacco or drink beer?"
"Oh no", I replied, "I've never done either."
Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and B-B-Q ribs?"
I said, "No, I've heard that all red meat is very unhealthy!"
"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf?" he asked.
"No I don't," I said.
He said, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or fool around with sexy women?"
"No," I said, "I've never done any of those things."
He looked at me and said, "Then why in hell do you want to live to be 80?
So I went Charlie sheen lifestyle program. I should be dead within the year!
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